Articles from February 2025

A mum of eight who insisted on taking her life-threatening ectopic pregnancy to full term has given birth to a daughter.

Alex Gooding gave birth on February 4 to baby Chloe Marie via c-section, before undergoing a hysterectomy.

The Christian, anti-abortion mother, from Arizona, sparked controversy when she first announced her intentions to continue on with her pregnancy, against medical advice.

Alex had a caesarean section ectopic pregnancy (CSEP) – the rarest type – where very few pregnancies survive. It means the embryo has implanted in the scar tissue left from a previous cesarean section. It has a high mortality rate for the mother and baby.

Alex was told the devastating news at just five weeks pregnant and was advised to terminate.

But the 33-year-old insisted that ‘a baby is a baby no matter how small’.

The mum announced the birth on Instagram, saying: ‘The biggest relief was this moment.’

She added: ‘Her little life was worth every second of pain, fear and sacrifice.’

However, the risks to Alex and Chloe throughout her pregnancy can be underestimated.

According to the NHS, until recently, it was considered too dangerous to continue with a pregnancy of this kind. But there is now ‘some research available showing that these pregnancies can sometimes progress to term’.

Speaking to Metro, Dr Lawrence Cunningham explained the risks.

‘Scar tissue is not designed to support a growing pregnancy,’ he said. ‘Instead, it can lead to severe complications such as uterine rupture, massive haemorrhage, and even maternal death. The risk is heightened because the pregnancy can grow into the bladder or other surrounding organs.’

But Alex’s strong religious beliefs meant she continued with her pregnancy.

She said on social media: ‘The maternal-fetal medicine [specialist] I went to immediately after my first midwife ultrasound told me I needed to terminate.

‘He told me that I would die and he already called the [gynecologist] and they would meet me at the hospital asap.’

Despite the ‘crushing’ news, she made it to 33 weeks, giving birth a week earlier than planned.

Alex knew there was a high risk of haemorrhaging and that she would likely have to have a hysterectomy.

‘My daughter Chloe was born screaming… then I was put to sleep for a four hour surgery to have a hysterectomy to save my life,’ she explained on her Instagram page @growinggoodings.

She was wheeled to the NICU to see her baby after the procedure. ‘We both made it to the survivor side of a high risk pregnancy,’ she added.

Although Chloe needed support to breathe and had to be fed through a tube, the mum said, after everything they’d been through together, ‘it was worth it’.

When Alex announced on Instagram that she was going to be continuing with her ectopic pregnancy, many on the internet were stunned by her choices.

@calaveraqueen24 wrote: ‘Don’t understand why you would risk your life with seven other children who need you.’

Another, @mthomper, added: ‘Curious if you will share how you processed or weighed the risk to your own life leaving all your children with continuing this pregnancy? I can’t imagine having to make that decision.’

Other followers have raised the abortion debate that continues to cause tensions across the USA.

Since Roe V Wade was overturned in 2022, 20 states including Alabama, Louisiana, Mississippi and Texas, ban or restrict abortion. Many of these states ban the procedure at six weeks or earlier. Some, but not all, have exceptions for cases of rape or incest.

While the termination of an ectopic pregnancy is not categorised as an abortion, they have become part of the debate. Confusing legislation has raised questions in terms of care for women with ectopic pregnancies, and doctors have even been known to withhold treatment due to their beliefs.

Two women in Texas have filed federal complaints against hospitals who they say refused to treat their ectopic pregnancies.

But Dr Cunningham, who is also medical contributor at Help & Advice, explained that, in his experience, the standard treatment needed for ectopic pregnancy is termination.

‘This is to prevent life-threatening complications,’ he said. ‘Treatment options typically include medication, which helps the body absorb the pregnancy tissue, or surgical intervention to remove the ectopic tissue.

‘The choice of treatment depends on the size and location of the pregnancy, as well as the patient’s overall health and future fertility desires.’

For Dr Cunningham, a decision to continue with a CSEP could lead to ‘catastrophic outcomes’.

‘While there are rare cases where both mother and baby have survived, these instances are not common and come with significant risks,’ he explained.

‘Any decision to continue should involve a multi-disciplinary medical team to evaluate the risks and manage the pregnancy closely.’

For Alex, she says that it’s through ‘prayer, love and support from family and friends, that every day I’m strengthened and encouraged. I’m okay.

She added: ‘I’m grateful for my team. I’m grateful for their expertise and their dedication to continually getting better in this field. My pregnancy gave them more data on how to provide quality care that supports the end goal of living babies and living mamas.’

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Lying in my hospital bed in June 1994, I was on a knife-edge. I had no idea what would happen.

I was 38. I’d just had a bone marrow transplant to treat my leukaemia; and I was waiting to see whether my body would accept the new bone marrow I’d been given.

I didn’t know whether I’d live or die, or if I’d see my wife or children again. Nor did I know that I’d end up becoming good friends with my donor.

I’d only gone to the doctor four years before because I had a small rash under one arm. It wasn’t itchy or painful, just irritating.

My doctor was on holiday, but a locum gave me some cream and did some blood tests, just in case.

A few days later, I got a call saying I needed to go into the surgery.

‘Listen,’ my doctor said, when I went in. ‘You need to have other tests – but it looks like you’ve got chronic myeloid leukaemia [CML]’: a rare type of cancer, affecting the bone marrow and white blood cells.

Hearing those words was like a thunderclap, and I felt very lost in the following days.

It was also the worst possible timing. My wife and I had 18-month-old twins, and my business partner and I had just re-launched The Ivy restaurant.

I was referred to John Goldman at Hammersmith Hospital, who did some tests, drilling into my hip, that confirmed I did have CML.

My two sisters were tested to see if they’d be a stem cell match for me, but neither was. So I went on the Anthony Nolan register for donors – and that was the start of my four-year wait.

In the meantime, I was put on a drug called Interferon, which effectively stabilised my white blood cells. I felt like I had a hangover all the time, and I’d get very tired, but I was able to continue life as normal.

I put my diagnosis to the back of my mind a lot. But at night, I’d come home and self-administer the Interferon with a needle so then I’d go to bed thinking about it.

Nobody really knew how long it would take to find a donor, but then, one day, John said we had one, adding it was the best chance we had. ‘At this stage, you need to grasp the nettle’, he said.

In order for the bone marrow transplant to take place, my own bone marrow had to be killed off with chemotherapy and radiotherapy. It took five days and they were brutal.

Once my bone marrow was gone, I was neutropenic, which meant I had no resistance to any infection.

My children couldn’t come into my hospital room. Instead, they’d use the telephone that was outside my room and I’d talk to them that way.

I eventually asked my wife not to bring them; it was easier for me not to have them there at all, knowing I couldn’t see and hold them.

In the days before my transplant, I wrote to my donor to thank him for his selfless action. I didn’t know if it would work, but I wanted to extend my gratitude to him anyway.

I had no idea who he was, as Anthony Nolan keeps details on both sides anonymous, but they passed on my letter. 

When the time for the transplant came, I was connected to a bag of bone marrow and I lay in bed all night while this thick, gravy-like substance dripped into me.

Finding out it had ‘taken’ was a magical moment.

For a long time I was terribly, terribly weak, but six months later I was starting to feel like my former self.

And, of course, there was a new friendship blossoming.

My donor replied – anonymously – joking that he’d had a pint of Guinness before his donation, and that he hoped that would allow the strength of his bone marrow to do some sort of magic inside me.

We continued to write to each other. We didn’t tell each other about our lives, because we couldn’t disclose our identities; but we’d say innocuous things, like ‘I hope you’re well’.

After 18 months, I asked the team at Anthony Nolan if my donor and I could meet. Stewart was OK with it, but the team had no idea how to arrange this. It turned out only 2% of donors and recipients end up meeting.

In the end, my wife and I went to meet Stewart and his wife at the Anthony Nolan offices in Hampstead. We’d booked lunch at a restaurant, but we never made it because we were talking so much. We did go for drinks later that evening, though – and the friendship was firmly forged.

The bond we formed was utterly unique – without Stewart, I quite literally wouldn’t be here. We were both very aware of that from day one – it’s a very strange and powerful thing – and it created a connection between us immediately.

It wasn’t just he’d saved my life, though; it was also very easy and natural, and we instantly realised we actually enjoyed each other’s company.

We had children of similar ages; we were both in business despite having never been to university; we came from similar backgrounds and had so many other parallels in our lifestyles. Oddly enough, we also have very similar handwriting!

We have remained friends since that day.

We regularly met up for dinner and Stewart took me for an excellent curry in Leicester’s ‘golden mile’.

We visited each other’s homes, and Stewart even become great friends with my wife’s brother who lives nearby. We went on holiday together and our children became very close; it was like family.

And then, when Stewart’s wife became pregnant, we sealed the roles officially. Stewart asked me if I’d be godfather to their little boy.

I was absolutely delighted. 

My wife is now godmother to their little girl; and, as Stewart’s a dog breeder, we’ve since got dogs that he’s bred.

Last year, it was 30 years since the transplant; so we all had a big lunch together. Now all our children have children so it was a mad day, with dogs and grandchildren and babies.

These days, Stewart and I don’t see each other that often – we’ve both got family commitments – but it’s the sort of friendship where, no matter how much time has passed, we can always pick up where we left off.

He’s a fabulous guy; after all, he saved my life.

I’m in good health now, and I remain eternally grateful to Stewart and to the treatment I had.

The best part of it all, really, is the fact that I’ve been in the lucky position to help others. In 1999, chef Peter Gordon and I developed ‘Who’s Cooking Dinner?’, a glittering dining event where guests enjoy food prepared by mystery celebrity chefs to raise money for Leukaemia UK.

Over the years the annual event has raised over £8million; with the aim of developing kinder, more effective treatments.

I am now honoured to be Patron of Leukaemia UK and am looking forward to continuing to support their incredible work – so that more people with leukaemia can have the chance and the opportunity that I did.

*As told to Izzie Price

This article was originally published January 30, 2025

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Being mid-period on Valentine’s Day is far from ideal, especially as many women say they neither feel sexy nor enjoy period sex.

it can really dampen the mood if your romantic night in is plagued by cramps and mood swings.

But women are looking to delay their periods ahead of the big day.

As a result, there has been a surge in searches for norethisterone tablets – a drug that can postpone your period.

But is it safe to temporarily halt your period, and can it affect your health?

How does the period delay pill work?

GP Neel Patel, who works for Lloyds Pharmacy Online Doctor, said: ‘Norethisterone is a medication that an individual can start taking three days before their period is due.

‘Three tablets a day are then taken for the time you wish to delay your period.’

Norethisterone contains progesterone, which stops the lining of the womb from shedding, in turn delaying your period.

The drug can be taken for a maximum of 20 days at a time, which would stop the period for 17 days. Once you stop taking the tablets, your period should arrive two to three days after.

Norethisterone is a prescription medicine in the UK, as it can interact with other medications and can cause adverse side effects, so you can’t buy it over the counter, and should consult your GP if you’d like to take it.

What are the risks of taking a period delay pill?

Most women will be able to take this pill, however Dr Patel warns you shouldn’t use it if you have a liver problem, have or have had angina or a heart attack, or have a personal or a significant family history of blood clots.

Some other possible side effects include: sore breasts, feeling sick, and headaches.

Anne Henderson, a consultant gynaecologist and British Menopause Society advanced specialist, adds that the ‘high dose’ of progesterone could leave you feeling low or anxious.

Finally, this is not a contraceptive pill, and should not be used to prevent pregnancy.

Taking back-to-back contraceptive pill packets

According to Dr Patel, it’s ‘common practice’ to take two packets back-to-back to avoid getting your period. However, it’s always worth consulting your doctor – or you can call 111 – if you plan to change the way you take it.

‘If you take the mini pill, otherwise known as the progestogen-only pill, you will be taking a pill every day anyway,’ Dr Patel says.

‘Some types of combined contraceptive pills, such as Synphase and Logynon, also contain a different mix of hormones in each pill, these are known as phasic pills.

‘If you are taking a phasic pill brand you should consult with your doctor before attempting to delay your period.’

Dr Henderson adds that taking three combined pill packets back to back is actually the most common method of delaying your period, known as tricycling, a practice says she often reccomends.

‘It’s not harmful at all,’ she explains. ‘These pills have been used for period delay for decades without any issues. The pill simply shuts the ovaries down meaning you don’t ovulate, so there’s no harmful effects when you don’t bleed.

‘As soon as you stop the pill you’ll start to ovulate and for most women your cycle will return as normal. There’s no evidence that it will cause early menopause, low egg reserve or fertility problems.

‘The benefit the pill has brought to women’s lives far outweigh the downsides, I’ve seen that for the 35 years I’ve been a doctor.’

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Just when you thought we were getting somewhere with wellness over thinness, strong over skinny, retailer Next proves we’ve barely moved the needle.

An advert for the company’s power stretch denim leggings has been banned by the Advertising Standards Agency (ASA) for the appearance of the featured model’s ‘unhealthily thin’ legs.

And they do look shockingly, impossibly slim. Seeing the advert for the first time, I was fixated on this seemingly impossible feat of human genetics. Then I was angry that women are expected to look like that. Then I was just tired and disappointed.

According to the judgement, Next confirmed digitally altering the image ‘so that the leggings were brought further down towards the model’s ankle’, but the overall ‘setup was selected to maintain focus on the product’.

As a result of the pose, camera angle and styling, the ad was deemed ‘irresponsible’ and therefore ‘must not appear again in its current form’.

As soon as this decision was handed down, righteous clamouring in defence of the ad began: ‘isn’t that anti-thin?!’ ‘She’s just slim’. ‘If this ad is being banned then why not those depicting people who are obese?’

Because it is a false equivalency. Obesity is not a mental health condition, whereas eating disorders such as anorexia are the most fatal of all mental illnesses.

Yes, some women are slim but for the vast majority, the only achievable way to this type of favoured thinness is starvation.

And thank god for the ASA, frankly, for offering some protection to those of us who would otherwise be none the wiser that the images they are seeing are altered.

I know firsthand the toll this can have.

I’ve had anorexia on and off since I was 16; the worst bout in my mid-20s lasted three years and resulted in out-patient psychiatric treatment.

The impact has been devastating: physically, I’ve been left with digestive and bone issues as well as chronic anemia. My hair started falling out. Psychologically, anorexia dominated my life and led to depression and despair.

But the impact of eating disorders extends far beyond the individual. It affects friends and family who can’t breathe because of the panic and fear about their loved one’s health and survival – my mother used to dream about my death.

My ability to perform at work suffered, therefore so did my colleagues and the children I worked with at the time. I relied on valuable, already over-stretched NHS resources to get better.

The origins of eating disorders are both personal and complex but mine was absolutely influenced by the 90s and 00s trend for extreme thinness. Being (an American) size zero was lauded.

Celebrities were shamed – in magazines, with red circles – for any ‘unsightly’ bulge. The ‘heroin chic’ aesthetic was rife from the runway to through the high street – and perhaps Next’s now-banned advert is proof that it is making a stealth return.

But when extreme thinness is promoted as an ideal – and that is what we are talking about, not just slender, they-could-use-a-sandwich physiques – women suffer. Everyone suffers, really.

Men are not immune from being bombarded with imagery of idealised bodies, whether that’s chiselled, gym-honed musculature or slim torsos and faces. Online fitness coach and influencer Tom Trotter recently posted to his 620,000 Instagram followers about his battle with body dysmorphia.

Realistically, though, it’s women and girls who are both targeted and impacted by this constant, gnawing, idealisation of thinness.

Nostalgia for Y2K is plastered across social media. Ozempic-slimmed bodies are everywhere, never more so than during the music, TV and film award show season we are currently in.

Celebrities, including those whose fan base demographic is young women, are out promoting their productions with protruding collar bones and impossibly tiny waists. Skinny jeans are back (again).

In the post-magazine heyday era, we no longer need to actively buy a publication to be told that thin is good, or right, or desirable, we merely need to open our eyes. You can barely touch a phone or see a side of a bus without being affected.

Maybe, we could just about overlook the size 0 models walking down the rarified fashion runways – models are paid to be thin, the fashion world has a concerning obsession with skinniness, we know.

But when Next – wholesome Next! Beloved by nans and mums! Revered for its inclusive sizing! – is promoting a super-thin aesthetic, it’s a sign that the runways have a trickle-down effect.

Digitally altered adverts are nothing new. Brands including L’Oreal and Gucci have, in the past, faced similar ASA bans for adverts featuring overly air airbrushed faces and ‘unhealthily thin’ models respectively.

A cursory scroll through Instagram reveals a legion of filtered, tweaked and elongated women who apparently represent what we want to see because that is what we are told – by brands and influencers – is the definition of thriving and success.

A single, banned advert for Next leggings may not seem important but it is the latest indication that history is repeating itself. We seem to be encouraging another generation to grow up ashamed of their bodies and hateful of their looks; we are driving yet more people towards physical and psychological ill-health with which our beleaguered health system will struggle to cope.

It’s easy to think about ‘women’ as a homogenous group who should know better, or somehow try harder.

So let’s think about it like this: it’s our mums, it’s our sisters, it’s our daughters, who sob themselves to sleep because they think they look wrong. Who, despite their abilities, kindness, humour or intelligence, do not think they are valuable because they are not thin.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk. 

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A woman in her early 30s developed a kidney infection after her menstrual cup blocked urine flow.

She had to visit the doctor after noticing blood in her wee, as well as having pain in her tummy in pelvis which lasted around six months.

The anonymous woman’s case was detailed in the BMJ yesterday, because this is not a common occurrence.

It shows that women need to be better informed about the potential complications and correct use of the cups, the paper’s authors suggested.

The woman had been using a menstrual cup to catch blood during the days of her heaviest period flow, which she emptied every two to three hours.

Three years earlier, she had needed a kidney stone removed, and thought it may be something to do with this.

A scan revealed no sign of kidney stones, but did reveal a swollen right kidney and ureter —the tube that carries urine away from the kidneys.

Her menstrual cup was also visible on the scan, right next to the opening of the ureter into the bladder.

She was asked not to use the cup until a follow-up scan a month later.

When she went back, the symptoms had gone completely, leading doctors to conclude the cup was the culprit.

Menstrual cups, which are inserted into the vagina during menstruation and can be washed and reused, are bought as an eco-friendly alternative to pads and tampons.

They can be an incredibly helpful option, especially when disposable products are not available, such as for those living in poverty in rural areas.

As the study says, they are generally safe, with few issues reported.

However, the possibility of issues arising is something users should be aware of.

Study authors said: ‘Presently, menstrual cups can be bought and used without clinical advice from a health professional, which emphasises the importance of detailed and clear patient information material.’

They said there had only been a few similar cases reported.

In three cases, the women still kept using menstrual cups after getting advice on positioning and one choosing a smaller size, and none of them reported having problems again.

‘Correct positioning, along with choosing the correct cup shape and size, is important to prevent negative effects on the upper urinary tract,’ the authors said.

Get in touch with our news team by emailing us at webnews@metro.co.uk.

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When it comes to a bouquet of Valentine’s Day flowers, it turns out there really is a right and wrong bunch to choose.

The most romantic day of the year is fast approaching, and while some have made a dinner reservation or planned a trip away, others will grab a last-minute bouquet of flowers and call it a day.

Unfortunately, if your partner has a cat or dog roaming around their home, that can have some fatal consequences.

Here is what you need to know.

The most dangerous flowers for cats and dogs

Experts are warning people to be mindful about bouquets ahead of the floral industry’s busiest season, as some plants are extremely dangerous for cats and dogs — including the most popular Valentine’s flower of all:roses.

While all 100 species of rose are technically non-toxic to cats and dogs, the issue is the thorns. If stepped on, chewed, or eaten they can cause painful injuries for your pet.

With the Flowers and Plants Association estimating that over nine million roses are gifted in the UK alone on February 14, the hidden danger may come as a surprise. However, to keep your furry pal safe, they’re best avoided, or at the very least kept out of reach of pets.

They aren’t the only flowers to steer clear of either.

Available in many different colours and often a staple in bouquets, lilies are undeniably gorgeous but toxic to both cats and dogs, causing dehydration, vomiting or diarrhea. In some cases, ingestion can even be fatal.

Animal wellbeing specialist at Animal Friends Pet Insurance, Catrin George, previously told Metro: ‘If you do receive a bouquet of flowers containing lilies, putting them up and out of reach might not be enough to keep your fur family safe.

‘Cats can certainly get into those hard-to-reach places and although they may not actively eat the plant, if they brush up against it, getting pollen on their fur and then wash themselves, this can make them very ill.’

According to Dr Samantha Butler-Davies MRCVS, veterinary services director at Pets at Home, even the water within the vase is poisonous.

It’s bad news for tulip lovers as well: the plant itself is toxic to cats and dogs, but it’s the bulb that you have to be most cautious of, as it can cause vomiting, diarrhea, drooling, loss of coordination, weakness, and abdominal pain.

Dr Butler-Davies also highlights daffodils and hyacinths as ones to watch, and recommends looking out for the following symptoms:

• Vomiting – this is usually one of the first signs of poisoning.
• Drooling – because of the irritation to your pet’s mouth, excessive drooling is a common early sign of poisoning.
• Diarrhoea – gastrointestinal upset caused by the toxins can lead to diarrhoea.
• Pawing at the mouth – irritation in the mouth may lead your pet to paw at its mouth or face to try and relieve the discomfort.
• Difficulty breathing – in more severe cases, the swelling caused by the irritation can make it difficult for your pet to breathe. If this happens, immediate veterinary attention is necessary.
• Increased heart rate 
• Seizures and tremors – in severe cases of poisoning, a pet may experience muscle tremors or even seizures. This is rare but can occur if a large amount of the plant has been ingested.

There are a range of plants and flowers which can result in an emergency trip to the vets, so it’s vital you do your research before picking up a bouquet.

If your pet has ingested any flowers, Dr Butler-Davies recommends immediately removing the remaining plant material from your pet’s mouth.

‘Then, if you know what flower your pet has ingested, be sure to make a note for your vet, as this may help them determine the best cause of action,’ she tells Metro.

‘Even if your pet seems okay, it is best to contact your vet immediately as they will be able to advise you on next steps. If your pet is already showing signs of poisoning, visit your vet immediately.’

To avoid heartache this Valentine’s, you may want to avoid flowers altogether and go for a less dangerous gift.

However, while Dr Butler-Davies recommends keeping all plants out of your pet’s reach, she says: ‘If you want flowers in the house, consider choosing safer options such as gerbera daisies, red roses (de-thorned) and phalaenopsis orchids.’

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‘I’m sure it has to be false positive,’ the nurse said reassuringly. I nodded nervously. Surely, she was right.

I was a 21-year-old straight girl, after all. I had only decided to get an at-home STI test to make sure my sexual health was in check.

But two weeks later, my life was turned upside down when the HIV test came back positive. I got a call from a clinic saying that I needed to come in for another HIV test, which confirmed the news.

It was a distressing time. I knew nothing about HIV – my only knowledge of it was when Ste was diagnosed in Hollyoaks. The one thing that kept me going was the thought that Ste got HIV ages ago and was still in the show. Maybe I’d be OK, too?

The nurse who told me was so supportive. We spoke for two hours about what would happen next and the treatment process. Naively, I’d assumed I’d need a massive treatment plan, that I’d be in and out of the doctors all the time. But that wasn’t the case. My prescribed treatment was just one pill a day.

She gave me what felt like a thousand pamphlets and even her personal mobile number should I ever need to speak to someone.

As soon as I left her, I called my mum and dad. The news completely shocked them. Thankfully, they were supportive immediately though, and set off to be by my side straight away; my mum spending the three-hour car journey on the phone to Terrence Higgins Trust’s helpline, THT Direct.

Terrence Higgins Trust is the UK’s leading HIV and sexual health charity. Their helpline helps nearly 20,000 vulnerable people each year.

THT Direct gave my mum all the information she needed, including how to support me and the correct things to say to me. They also affirmed that people can live long and healthy lives with HIV. I felt incredibly lucky she was doing everything possible to understand my diagnosis.

At first, I struggled to cope and I couldn’t face telling my friends about my HIV status. Keeping it secret really took a toll on my mental health. I felt isolated and tried to make myself feel better by going out and getting drunk. One night, a boy tried it on with me and I completely broke down. I couldn’t cope on my own any longer.

When I opened up to them, thankfully, my friends didn’t react badly, but they didn’t know what to say either. None of us had ever thought HIV would hit our friendship group – a lot of them cried.

Now they’re fantastic, but they needed time to educate themselves on the realities of living with HIV today – the reality is, the stigma around the virus does more harm than the virus itself.

HIV is still a heavily misunderstood virus. Too many people’s comprehension of it is based on how it was in the 1980s, when HIV diagnosis was a death sentence. It isn’t like that now.

Some people think you can get HIV from kissing or just being around someone. There was a big uproar when people in my university found out about it because no one understood that just sitting next to me in a classroom didn’t put them at risk of getting HIV.

Polling of people living with HIV found that nearly three-quarters of us (74%) have experienced discrimination or stigma because of our status and nearly a third (62%) have experienced it in dating relationships.

The data is saddening but not surprising. Dating isn’t always a smooth ride for me.

Once, I went on a date with someone, and after I told him I was living with HIV, he didn’t want to touch me because he was scared I was infectious. Another time, I told someone on our second date and they chased me down the street, calling me slurs.

People don’t realise that I live a completely normal life. The only change is that now I take one pill a day, which reduces the level of HIV in my body to an undetectable level, meaning it’s impossible to pass the virus on to anyone else.

It’s even easier than taking the contraceptive pill. I get my medication posted to my house and set an alarm to remind myself to take it.

Every time I explain my treatment process to someone, they’re usually so shocked that they have to Google to check if what I’m saying is true.

It’s frustrating that something as big and fantastic as HIV treatment is still so unknown – not only is it one of the biggest successes of modern medicine, it is exceptional for people living with HIV.

Yet, there’s still a level of mistrust. Even though people on effective HIV treatment can’t pass on the virus, I hear people say – ‘what if?’ But there’s no way that HIV organisations and doctors would share that message if there was any doubt of its effectiveness.

People worry about getting intimate with someone who has HIV but I’m one of the safest people to have sex with. I get tested all the time and know that I cannot pass on HIV.

I don’t want to associate with people who don’t try to understand. If someone wants to discriminate against me for my HIV status, I deserve better anyway.

It took me years to adopt this mindset. I’m now 26 years old and only recently have felt ready to be completely open about my status.

Two years ago on World AIDS Day, I filmed a video, telling my story and setting the record straight on what it means to live with HIV.

I was supposed to publish it that same day but was too terrified. Instead, it wasn’t until I was drunk that I finally was brave enough to post it on Facebook. The response was so fantastic, I ended up putting it on YouTube too.

Honestly, I thought people were going to be horrible, but other than my previous sexual partners asking if they needed to get tested, the reaction has been overwhelmingly positive.

Since posting, the video has had almost 200,000 views and comments from people all over the world.

I’m really proud of sharing my experience – the perspective of young straight women living with HIV is often erased.

People still assume HIV is a ‘gay disease’. Once, I gave a talk at a school with a friend who is gay to raise awareness of HIV and everyone thought I was his assistant. They didn’t realise we were both there to speak.

It’s vital people remember that HIV doesn’t give a damn if you’re gay, bi, straight – it can affect literally anyone. In fact, cases of HIV have risen by 30% among straight people in this year. We all need to be educated.

The biggest advice I can give to allies is to be kind and considerate. Unless you’re someone living with HIV, you can’t imagine just how petrifying it is to be open about your status.

By normalising conversations about HIV and spreading the word about the progress we’ve made, we can create a safe space for people to talk openly about what it’s like to live with HIV and eradicate its stigma for good.

If you’re concerned about HIV, Terrence Higgins Trust runs a free and confidential helpline called THT direct. Call 0808 802 1221 between 10am and 6pm, Monday to Friday.

This article was originally published 1 December, 2022, and has been updated.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

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From filler in your labia to full labiaplasty, designer vaginasare a popular cosmetic surgery, with the procedure making it into the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPS) list of top procedures for women in 2023.

This is in spite of the fact that there’s no such thing as ‘normal’ when it comes to vulvas: one large-scale study found labias typically ranged from from 5mm to 10cm, and around 50% of women are believed to have asymmetrical labia.

Obstetrician and gynaecologist Dr Inês Vaz commented: ‘The concept of “big” and “small” was created by the media. Women should think twice before they categorise themselves as “abnormal”.’

And now, there’s a new part of the female anatomy receiving scrutiny: the pubic mound.

The pubic mound, or mons pubis, is the area of fatty tissue in front of your vulva, which lies over the pubic bone.

It’s perhaps more colloquially known as the ‘fupa’, an acronym that stands for ‘fat upper pubic area’.

Content creator Whitney Simmons posts workout and gym videos on TikTok, and her pubic mound is a source of unwanted attention.

‘One thing about me, y’all love to comment on it, I have a very prominent pubic bone okay,’ she says in one clip.

In another, she can be seen covering her pelvic area with her hands, saying: ‘My large oversized tee is dirty so today [my pelvic bone] is out, she’s large and she’s in charge.

‘I’ll just be like this all day,’ she adds as she demonstrated turning her back to the camera.

Whitney hasn’t had any cosmetic surgery, and her openness about the hate she gets has encouraged her followers to talk about their own anatomy.

‘I have a prominent one too. I call her my generous mons,’ commented Lydia (@depressy.monkey).

Alexis Lorentz added: ‘I am here to join the club for prominent pubic bones.’

What is monsplasty?

Cosmetic surgery offers an antidote to this pubic mound insecurity, in a procedure called monsplasty.

For plastic surgeon Dr Omar Tillo, medical director at CREO Clinic, there has been a growing interest in the surgery, which he believes comes from the influence of social media platforms showing different ‘body contouring’ options.

So what is it exactly?

Dr Tillo tells Metro: ‘Monsplasty, also known as a pubic lift or mons reduction, is a surgical procedure that addresses excess skin and fat in the mons pubis (the area above the pubic bone).

‘The goal is a smoother, flatter, and more contoured appearance, improving the balance and proportion of the lower abdomen and genital area.’

He explains that an incision is made along the bikini line, through which excess skin and fat are removed, and liposuction may be used to refine the contour.

‘The underlying tissues may be tightened, and the remaining skin is then carefully redraped and closed,’ he adds.

Dr Tillo says that he usually performs the procedure in tandem with abdominoplasty (a tummy tuck) but that it’s also done on it’s own. He performs on average 15 of the procedures a year.

What are the risks and benefits of monsplasty?

Dr Tillo claims that the women seeking the procedures are likely self-conscious about the area’s appearance, particularly when wearing fitted clothing or swimwear.

‘Some experience discomfort or chafing due to excess tissue, especially during physical activity,’ Dr Tillo adds. ‘Others may feel that the appearance of the mons pubis is disproportionate to their overall body image.’

As with any surgical procedure though, there are potential risks like infection, bleeding, scarring, asymmetry, changes in sensation and reactions to anaesthesia, according to the surgeon.

It’s also not cheap, with costs ranging from £2,400 to £4,000.

‘Making sure to choose a board-certified plastic surgeon with extensive experience in body contouring procedures is crucial to minimising these risks and ensuring the best possible outcome,’ he adds. ‘All these risks will be discussed in a consultation.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

Stumbling out of the dark room, I ripped my microphone from my head and handed it to a fellow instructor.

‘You’ve got to go and teach this class,’ I said.

I’d been about halfway through my usual 7am boxing session at a boutique studio in January 2019 when the headache suddenly started.

The pain was excruciating, radiating across my whole head and worsening each time I opened my eyes. The closest I could come to describing it would be as an intense migraine, but even then that doesn’t capture the agony I was in.

Reasoning that the flashing lights and loud music weren’t helping matters, I bailed on the class to try and rest.

What I didn’t realise then though was this wasn’t your typical headache. In fact, as I found out afterwards, it was a stroke. And it would change my life.

Up to that morning, I’d been the picture of health.

I was 32, from Norfolk but living in New York City with my wife and working as an actor and fitness coach. Because of this, I tried to keep myself in the best condition possible so I boxed regularly, ate healthily, and I didn’t drink alcohol.

That’s why it was so unusual for me to be feeling like this.

After handing over the mic, I went into a staff room and fell asleep. I woke up a couple of hours later but my headache was worse than ever.

I should have taken myself home then, but because I was due to be at an audition soon I decided to stay put.

However, when it came time to leave I couldn’t remember where the audition was or any of my lines. I felt confused, lost.

Despite this, I wasn’t concerned that my headache was caused by anything other than me being exhausted or burnt out. All I wanted was to go home and sleep but, worryingly, I couldn’t remember where I lived or how to get there.

Eventually, I called my wife and she told me how to get on the train and get back home in one piece. She was concerned but I reassured her that all I needed to do was lie down at home. I then slept for 24 hours straight.

When I woke up my headache had gone but I still felt exhausted and like something wasn’t quite right. Still, I went back to teach my boxing class, and then I started slurring my words.

Afterwards, I saw a doctor who advised that I was indeed ‘burnt out’ and I should be fine after a couple of days off work. However, things just got worse with the same symptoms presenting throughout the rest of the day.

Sensing something was seriously wrong, my wife suggested we book to see another doctor and, this time, I completed a series of blood tests and an MRI scan.

The latter confirmed my ‘headache’ had actually been a stroke and that I had a congenital heart defect called atrial septal defect (ASD).

I was in complete and utter shock.

Not only did I not feel like I’d had a stroke, I couldn’t understand how or why this had happened. It felt like my world as I’d always known it was crumbling apart.

As for discovering I had ASD, it was hard to process. Essentially, the condition means I have a hole in the wall that separates the heart’s top two chambers, which then increases the amount of blood going through the lungs.

While signs and symptoms of this heart defect are rare, in most cases these holes will close up by adulthood without treatment. However, as in my case, when left untreated, ASD can cause other problems such as heart failure and strokes.

So, it was decided that I needed surgery to repair the damage.

As I didn’t have health insurance in the US, I decided to return to the UK for the surgery in July 2019, for which I was unbelievably scared.

I’d had to sign a lot of paperwork beforehand stating that I was aware of potential complications and risks – including death.

Thankfully, everything went well – though my doctor did find a second hole in my heart, which was patched up at the same time – and I returned to America about a month after my surgery.

However, life was anything but normal afterwards as I still suffered with the repercussions of the stroke.

Both working out and teaching gave me vertigo, sometimes to the point that I threw up. I wasn’t sleeping well and my memory was still patchy. I felt frustrated and angry – I just wanted to get my life back on track.

Ironically, the one thing that allowed me to do that was the pandemic.

As terrible as Covid was for many people, going into lockdown was my saving grace. I was physically forced to stop doing anything vigorous and focus on my recovery.

By October 2020 I finally felt like I was back to my old self. I was working out again with a trainer who understood my body but taking it slow, I was sleeping soundly, my speech was back to normal, and my memory was improving.

Luckily for me, at the same time, Peloton instructor Cody Rigsby reached out and asked if I would be interested in joining the instructor team.

I’d first met Cody back in 2017 when I’d taken a couple of his classes and he asked if I wanted to audition then, but at the time I was so focused on acting that I didn’t go ahead. Now though, I jumped at the chance.

I had to go through an audition process but I eventually landed the role at the London studio in January 2021 and my wife and I moved back to the UK not long after. And by March 2021, I started teaching on the Peloton platform.

Since then, not only have I continued to teach classes alongside my own training, I’ve tried to be really open about my experience of having a stroke.

I used to hide this fact because I wanted to be perceived as normal. However, I’ve learned the more I talk about my experience – whether that’s in a class or at events – the more people my age I realise have been through the same thing.

Strokes can happen to anyone at any age, and awful things can happen at any time. I’m so grateful to have come back stronger.

Peloton provides expert instruction and world class content to create impactful and entertaining workout experiences for members anywhere and at any stage in their fitness journey. Peloton brings together innovative hardware, distinctive software, and exclusive content.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing James.Besanvalle@metro.co.uk. 

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Standing in the church, I felt an overwhelming sadness.

Not just because we were saying a final farewell to my beloved dad, Colin, but because my mum, Liz, didn’t know what was going on.

She’d been staring blankly at his casket for a few moments, and then she finally turned to my daughter, Katie and said: ‘Who’s in that coffin?’

My heart shattered. She’d forgotten that her husband of 60 years had died.

My parents were diagnosed with dementia within two years of one another, though mum was the first to show symptoms.

I first started noticing changes in Mum’s behaviour in 2018. She’d become increasingly anxious, which just wasn’t like her. I’d also seen that she couldn’t find the kitchen utensils or work out how to serve the food.

For someone usually so switched on – she was formerly a member of Mensa – her vacant demeanour was really concerning.

However, getting an official diagnosis became a really time-consuming battle.

We live in Orkney – a collection of beautiful islands off the Northeast coast of Scotland with a population of just 22,500 people. It’s extremely remote, meaning access to health and social care services is pretty limited.

We didn’t have a resident dementia specialist that could make the assessment and had to wait for the specialist that made infrequent visits from the mainland.

Eventually, in January 2019, mum was officially told she had dementia.

We were all devastated, and in complete shock. When we found out, we all just cried, but vowed that we would stick together.

Not long after though, Dad’s symptoms started to come to light.

He became easily confused and would often jump to old timelines. Or we’d be out for a meal and he wouldn’t realise that he hadn’t yet eaten so would say it was time for dessert.

Worried, I repeated the whole process I’d just taken Mum through, and in June 2021, Dad was diagnosed with dementia.

Almost overnight I became a round-the-clock carer to my parents. A huge part of this was managing the admin; trips to the pharmacy, dealing with social care workers, visits to the doctor and setting up financial and legal support.

Despite my mum being diagnosed first, Dad’s health deteriorated much quicker and he soon required a lot of hands-on support.

I gave up my job as a Housing Support Officer but even then I was barely getting any sleep.

I needed help, but there was a huge wait list for home care services and no local spaces available for a place in a residential home.

Desperate, I spent every spare moment on the phone just pleading for some kind of help.

We managed to make do for a while in between sporadic visits from independent carers and trips to the local day centre under the guise that mum was ‘volunteering to support elderly people in the community’ – this lie was the only way to get her to go.

In the summer of 2023, Mum was admitted to hospital with delirium. When she came out, we were able to secure her a home care package with about four visits a day – but these were only 20 minutes at a time, so I was still picking up a bulk of the load.

It felt relentless.

We carried on like this for a long time, all while I was still campaigning to get at least one of them into a residential home.

Then, in May 2023, dad contracted COVID-19 and developed post-Covid delirium and psychosis. He became a man I didn’t recognise.

I physically couldn’t take care of him at home anymore on my own and at one point, doctors even tried to have him sectioned as he was so unwell.

The only silver lining was that this meant his case was escalated, and we were able to secure him a place in a care home in February 2024.

For a few months I got my dad back. He was gentle and kind.

Sadly, a few months later, in July 2024, Dad died after suffering a stroke. His last weeks were the most distressing I have ever dealt with; I felt so isolated and alone.

I didn’t think my heart could break anymore, and then mum uttered those words at his funeral.

The only thing I was certain of is that, now that Dad had passed, I knew there was definitely a space available in the care home for Mum.

In the month before Dad passed it had become increasingly clear that it was no longer safe for Mum to be at home as there’d been a string of unfortunate events, culminating with her accidentally flooding the house.

‘What am I going to do now?’ I thought to myself desperately.

At that time I had nowhere for her to go, so I just drove her to hospital and left her there for three weeks. I had no other choice.

Now at least with Dad gone, she could take his place in the home.

Thankfully, social services arranged for her to move in almost immediately. Dad died on the Sunday and Mum was in his room by the following Friday.

I’d literally had to wait for one person I loved to die, so another loved one could access adequate care. That’s just wrong.

No family should have to go through what we did just because they live in a rural community. Yet sadly that is the experience of many people who live in remote places.

Considering that it’s estimated a third of people over 85 will live in rural areas by 2037, compared to a quarter now, we must do better to ensure that no family has to face dementia alone.

I’m glad that we now have a dementia specialist Admiral Nurse in Orkney helping people to navigate life with dementia, but I wish that help had been readily available sooner.

Nowadays, Mum is just existing. She can’t walk and struggles to speak. I try to visit her several times a week, but I find it upsetting to see her as she is a shell of who she once was.

What I’ve been through with my parents has been nothing short of soul-destroying. Families deserve adequate access to care, no matter where they live.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

Share your views in the comments below.